My small group has been studying the issue of doubt
recently, and of course you can’t talk about doubt without talking about
Doubting Thomas. Most of the time, this guy gets kind of a bad rep. I remember
growing up he was always used as a bad example: “Don’t be a Doubting Thomas!”
You’ve probably experienced this too. Which is why I wanted to write this post –
let’s give the guy a break, shall we?
First, let’s talk about what kind of guy Thomas was. Do you
think he was this surly, pessimistic guy who never thought anything good could
happen? We all know the words he’s known for: “Unless I see in his hands the
mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my
hand into his side, I will never believe.” But remember, this homeboy was
chosen by Jesus, aka God on this earth
(yes, Judas was too, but that was for a different purpose).
Some lesser-known sayings of Thomas can be found in John
11:16. This is in the middle of the Lazarus story, when Jesus is about to go “awaken”
his dead friend. It’s Thomas who leads the other disciples with this appeal: “Let
us also go, that we may die with him.”
WHOA. Talk about commitment level to Jesus.
Another time where Thomas shows up is John 14, when Jesus is
talking about his imminent departure. In 3-4, he has just said “I go forth to
prepare a place for you.” Thomas pipes up in verse 5: “Lord, we do not know
where you are going. How can we know the way?” Which of course Jesus answers
with “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life…”
It seems to me that in that particular verse, Thomas merely
wanted more information. He was curious about where Jesus was going, and he
wanted to go too. He wanted to go so much that he asked for clarification on
the directions he’d just been given – something that I do a lot with physical
directions, because I am not good at finding my way around. There is nothing
wrong with asking for clarification, just like there is nothing wrong for
asking to repeat a direction or for a student to ask a teacher for more clear
instructions on an assignment. Thomas was an intellectual – he wanted to be
absolutely certain that he understood what was going on.
At this point, we are getting closer and closer to Jesus’
death. These disciples have followed him for three years – he has been their
central point and their solid home base in their travels. Their lives have
rested on him and what he has taught them. Most of them think that he is going
to set up a physical, earthly kingdom by overthrowing the Romans, and by
association with him they will have important official positions. Their worlds
revolve around Jesus.
And then everything goes to hell.
With Jesus crucified, can you imagine the sort of emotions
they were feeling? Think of the last time someone let you down – if it was a
relationship, when it was ended. When someone you loved suddenly died. When you
depended on someone and they failed to come through. It’s a crushing feeling,
and we’ve all experienced it. Sometimes we withdraw from other people, sometimes
we just lose all hope. It’s hard, a lot of times, to believe that things will
get better. So can you really blame Thomas for doubting?
His world had just fallen apart, and then suddenly his
friends are running up to him like “Dude! You won’t believe this, but Jesus is
back! Totally alive, bro!”
Now, Thomas had seen Jesus bring other people back from the
dead. But he’d never brought himself
back from the dead before. And if Thomas is anything like me, his first thought
was probably “This is too good to be true.” It makes me wonder – was he afraid
to get his hopes up in case he was disappointed? Was he afraid to trust again
after everything he believed in had just fallen apart? That’s what I see a lot
in myself, and I’m sure with other people as well.
Now, the cool thing is, the story doesn’t end there. Jesus
could have just been like, “You know what? That Thomas is never going to
believe unless I show him something. Too bad for him; he doesn’t have enough
faith.” But that totally is not what
happens! Instead, Jesus appears to them again,
this time with Thomas in the room, and invites Thomas to “Do not disbelieve,
but believe.” Jesus went out of his way to grow Thomas’ faith. And once he’d
seen Jesus, Thomas had a complete turnaround. He doesn’t touch Jesus, as he
said he would to see the nail marks and pierced side. Instead, the first thing
he does is worship: “My Lord and my God!”
Struggling with doubt is not a sin – in the same way that we
can’t build muscles without straining them, we can’t build our faith without
struggle. However, if we attempt to struggle alone when the load gets too heavy
– like lifting weights that are too heavy – that’s dangerous. But the next few
words Jesus says carry a loaded message: “Blessed are those who have not seen
and have yet believed.”
That’s us. We who are believers nowadays have not seen
Jesus, but believed in him anyways. Blessed are we who find in Christ the faith
to overcome our doubts. God will go a long way in revealing himself to someone
who really wants to believe. It shouldn’t have taken Jesus showing up
personally to Thomas for Thomas to believe, but Jesus did it anyway. If we
truly want to believe, there is
nothing God won’t do to show us.
Most biblical quotations taken from the ESV, unless I
paraphrased them into the Jeddie Bristow version.
The book we’re going through is called Lord, Change my Attitude by James McDonald and Barb Peil if you
would like to check it out for yourself.
